Social freedom is nothing but a state of mind. If you’re able to feel relaxed and confident in any social situation, you’ll definitely see the quality of your life improving significantly. But how to get there? Every time we’re in social situations, we find ourselves held back by the same old habits…Until we start realizing what’s really all about, and we start making conscious adjustments. Here are some aspects to keep in mind in order to conquer our social anxiety.
1 Take your space. Social freedom is often quite literally a matter of taking space. When you’re in public, pay attention to your body language and start occupying more space around you. This will make you more visible. Don’t be afraid of this increased visibility and make small and progressive adjustments to your behaviour. This concept applies also to the volume of your voice: don’t be afraid of making yourself heard. There’s nothing to be afraid or ashamed of.
2 The world is your home. As a human being, you have every right of feeling at home everywhere you are. You were born on this planet, and this planet is your home, no matter how much negative conditioning you’ve gotten from society in order to make you feel “different” from “others”. Truth be told, there’s no difference among human beings as long as we don’t create differences in our heads. So go on proudly, and feel welcome everywhere you go. If you see people apparently “rejecting” you, remember they are simply being afraid of you. Make yourself known little by little, be open, and you’ll see them moving from closeness to curiosity in a few moments. Why am I so sure? Because they are humans, just like you and I.
3 How you behave is who you are. An important aspect to remember about social situations is that people who don’t know you will tend to judge you very quickly at first. You’ll have time to make them change their mind later, but at first it’s worth to remember that your behaviour and the perception other people get from your communication will represent your initial “value” for them. So make sure you are playing a “social role” in which you feel comfortable, and don’t be afraid to tell people something personal about yourself. Starting off on the right foot is often the key for passionate relationships and long-lasting friendships.
4 They don’t care about you. This sentence might sound harsh, but in most cases it represents the truth. People are mostly concerned about themselves, in private as well as in social situations. This means, people are constantly quite busy taking care of themselves and their worries. As a result, they tend to judge someone else and someone else’s “social mistakes” less hardly. The reason is simple, and you can test it on yourself: if someone else around you is acting socially awkward, you get a lot less embarrassment, than if you were personally behaving that way. So don’t worry too much and feel free to be yourself. Of course, be always respectful and conscious of social conventions. Ultimately, you’ll get a lot more attention and appreciation by being yourself rather than by desperately trying to stay anonymous.
5 Time is flying, so use it well. If you spend your time worrying, chances are you’ll find a lot of difficulties in acting on your dreams and goals. This will build resentment as well as low self esteem, so it’s important to start tackling social issues right now. Every opportunity you have in life to make new friends or new experiences is most of the times unique. Of course, we all miss tons of opportunities, thinking that and sooner or later we’ll get another chance. Although this actually happens in most cases, we must also remember that life is long but finite. Don’t throw away chances for success, self-improvement and fulfilment only because of your social fears. Life is a gift, treat it as an opportunity. A unique opportunity, to be exact. Good luck!