10 ways to deal with anger

Often times is very difficult to deal with anger, especially when such feeling is sudden and apparently irrational. The idea I’d like to pass here is that anger is an energy that must be put into active use. In this post I gathered 10 simple ways to keep your anger under control and to use it as a productive energy for your life.

1 Change. If you’re angry, it’s obvious that something is wrong in your life. What is it? Try to identify 3-5 practical aspects that really don’t work in your life. Good. Now start changing them immediately. Make concrete actions to put yourself in a new and different direction. Every little step you’ll make to move towards the “new version” of yourself, the better you’ll feel. And your anger is not going to follow you.

2 Immediate action. One of the keys of dealing with rage and anger is of course taking action. As an energy, anger cannot disappear, nor it can be repressed for too long. In order to conquer your anger you’ll have to use your energies creatively. Work hard on something you care about, exercise, dedicate time to your friends and your partner. Or simply take a break, go for a walk, breath some fresh air and look around you. Take active action and you’ll see your anger disappear.

3 Make yourself proud. When we’re angry, a part of this anger is usually directed to ourselves. No matter how the external circumstances look like, you’ll have to make yourself proud. Make something valuable, help someone, make something great out of your day. Accomplish something meaningful every day, and you’ll feel a lot less angry.

4 Explore. Anger can also come from an excessive proneness to routine. If you get too used to your habits and you live a life that doesn’t bring you any challenge or excitement, you’re likely to end up with a lot of unused energy. This energy can often turn into anger. In order to avoid this, get out of your usual boundaries. Explore the spaces around you, your neighbourhood, your city or your country, and most importantly expand your creative boundaries. Start new projects, get inspired by books and movies, keep a journal, work to become a better person. Your exploration will keep the anger away.

5 Commit to social activities. Sometimes when you feel really nervous and angry, it’s a good idea to “force” yourself in situations where you have to behave. Social situations and public places are the ideal solution for this. Once out, you’ll find yourself actively dealing with social situations, you’ll be talking to other people, and you’ll notice that your anger level is decreasing. Get involved in social activities to “clean yourself up” from excessive anger and nervousness.

6 Take care of yourself. If you’re angry or frustrated, maybe it’s time to dedicate more time and energy to take care of yourself. Take time for yourself and be a little self-indulgent every once in a while. Allow yourself to rest and make some exceptions to your “personal rules”. Sometimes our life goes simply too fast and we tend to forget the most important element of our lives: ourselves.

7 Under the surface. Anger is in any case a symptom of something wrong. Sooner or later, you’ll have to dig deep to find out what you really don’t like about yourself and your situation. Ask for help if you think you need it. Meanwhile, you can start by writing down very honestly all the reasons why you don’t like the situation you’re in at the present moment. Be honest and bring the deep cause of your anger in front of you, and you’ll have already made a giant step forward.

8 Forget, forgive. If you feel your anger comes directly from something or someone, remember that you don’t have to invest all your energies interacting with this person. Even if for some reason you have to deal with these situations/people, work hard to create spaces in your life that are completely stress free. Use actively your free time to “regenerate” yourself. The world is huge and full of possibilities, don’t let yourself get stuck in little situations that will be of no importance in a year’s time.

9 Be special. I like to think that we are all on this planet to make a contribution. Focus on your unicity and consider your life as a journey. Do you remember what made you angry five or ten years ago? Probably not. We always live in the present, and we have to make every effort to build a present that is special and meaningful for ourselves and the people around us. Don’t let yourself down because of your anger or your frustrations. You’re more important than them! Acknowledge this and move on proudly.

10 Laugh. What’s the opposite of anger? Happiness and calmness, probably. Make a conscious effort to laugh and you’ll see your anger fade away. Listen to jokes, watch some comedy, and more importantly find the strength to laugh at yourself. Try to not take life too seriously, because it’s not meant to. As Monty Python used to say, “Always look at the bright side of life”. Good luck!

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